Crucial Turning Points

Marriage is like an organism. Its growth and development can be hindered by outside factors. There are three main circumstances where the marital bond could be loosened which if not checked could ultimately lead to separation or a dissolving of the tie. Couples when faced with these situations should be extra careful so as to preserve the marriage.

Here are the following 3 possible marriage-wreckers:

1. The first year of marriage. A lot of work goes into the crucial first year of married life. This is the time when the blinders worn during courtship and the engagement period are put away. Now you see each other, warts and all, everyday, and you have to live with what you see. You will have to get a realistic view of each other. If you disagree on certain issues, you have to confront and thresh out differences, something which you must have ignored before marriage. There is nothing like talking things out to avoid misunderstanding. The sooner you talk things out, the better.

2. When you become a family. Inasmuch as a baby can cement a relationship undergoing adjustments, it could also put a wedge between couples. Expectedly, the intimacy shared before the child arrived is no longer possible. Some might even say, three’s a crowd, even if the newcomer is your child. Sometimes, the new mother gets so immersed in taking care of the baby that she forgets she is neglecting her husband, or that the latter might feel left out without her realizing it. “Some couples disconnect permanently, with Mom or Dad transferring the idyllic attachment of their early love onto the new child.” At all costs, both partners should see to it that they remain one even when they already have a child. One way to achieve this is by involving the other in the care of the child.

3. Handling teen-agers in the house. The difficulty of couples with adolescent children is they face crisis on two fronts. At a time when they are experiencing the pangs of mid-age crisis, they also have to live with kids who are having a crisis of their own. “Either way, when the kids are struggling with hormones, you and your husband are apt to be struggling with midlife blues.” When teachers complain of their kids’ lackluster performance in school, parents are apt to blame each other for this, not realizing either cannot shoulder the burden of blame.

Hurdling these roadblocks to a good marriage should be the lookout of couples determined to make their marriage last. Both partners should strive to make their relationship a tad better day by day, doing away with spurts of resentment and anger by ensuring communication between them on good days but more importantly on trying days when their tempers clash.